Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Pot Roast is, well... ya know.

...It's pot roast. That's about all.

I wanted it to be better, I really did. I thought we could make it work, pot roast. I thought it would be different all these years later. There was so much growing up and new appreciations and experiences in all those years we spent apart. But, no. You're just a cheap piece of meat all tarted up. You suck all the joy and flavor out of everything around you, and you can't even appreciate it when I try to spice things up. I even tried to woo you with red wine, but you just sat there. I never thought we had enough thyme, but even when I gave you all the extra thyme I had you didn't even really pay attention. I waited around for you to be ready, and by the time you were I just didn't give a shit anymore.

At least my attempt looked pretty. It wasn't really all that bad, either. I think what it comes down to is that I'm just not that big of a pot roast fan, and no one will ever be able to make it quite the way their grandmother did when they were three and forced to finish their carrots.

I bring you fragrant bouquets and you don't even care. Also, there's my big chef's knife just in case I decide to take it to my wrist during this futility.

I couldn't even get a particularly good shot of it, and although I meant to in the morning light, who has time in the morning? Also, we were so unenthusiastic about leftovers after about two days that taking a picture sort of lost it's appeal. I think it's officially time for me to get a soft box... and a bike.

Anyway, I have been trying to get the hang of red meat lately and it's slow going. I've pan seared steaks here and there, attempted supervised grilling etc, but I have definitively come to the conclusion that this "stew" bullshit is possibly the worst way to prepare an already subpar cut of cow. I DO NOT, however, condemn all things in stew form. Coq Au Vin is one of the most beautiful dishes I have ever encountered in my life, it's like French soul food and probably made Julia Child say "DAAAYUM" the first time she made it. I will definitely have to do a post about it soon since that dish has been my traditional French food training wheels. It's such a wintry dish but I love it in late summer when the herbs are ripe and moist and just begging for it. Yeah...

I got this recipe from How To Boil Water, which definitely has some great recipes and technique. Many of the dishes are Americanized or made so non-threatening that creativity does help. That probably has something to do with why I found the pot roast so disenchanting, but still, I added booze to a dish and nothing. Red flag.

I'm not going to bother posting the recipe since pot roast recipes seem to be a dime a dozen, but if anyone has any suggestions and I'm being blindly judgmental of this classic, feel free to let me know.

Guaranteed to blow your mind, anytime.

1 comment:

  1. Pot roast is best with dried herbs and spices straight outta the jar, lady. You can't fancy up pot roast - you are correct. Your bouquet garni is wasted on a project like this, but you did tie it awfully prettily and had I been the recipient of said bouquet I would have quickly kissed you drunkenly on the lips and giggled about it after the hangover.

    I'll make you a rockin' pot roast sometime. Chuck roast, beef stock, red wine, carrots/onions/celery/potatoes, seasoning. Crock Pot is the way to go.

    Funny post. Enjoyed it.